Today’s couples struggle in many different ways. Be it harsh or critical ways of communicating, or in such matters as money, friends, in-laws, parenting or just finding a way to be in love again. There is probably nothing better than a healthy relationship in which we can not only work toward common desires and dreams but be best friends and get back to having fun. A relationship that has moved off course can create feelings of anxiety and depression, with couples walking around feeling angry and frustrated………….. Life is short, and wasting time being in a rut of despair and unhappiness just doesn’t make sense……….You probably have a lot of time invested in each other and it might be worth the effort of trying to put the relationship back on course before calling it quits forever…… I have been practicing for over 20 years. My approach is individualized. I generally work best with patients and couples who are motivated to change and who are interested in developing a better way of coping with the struggles of life and relationships…I am also comfortable with couples who have longstanding problems and difficult issues. Feel free to call to discuss some of your challenges. Vic Torgrimsen. Licensed Clinical Social Worker N.Y. State: Email: [email protected] for further information or call for free 15 minute telephone consultation. 631-766-7470

Posted on February 22, 2019October 25, 2022

COMMON TOPICS OF DISCUSSION:

Communication: Finding ways to safely communicate with each other without being critical or judgmental.. We learn how to make the discussions safe.
Rebuilding Trust: Many couples come in to the office with current “trust issues” The possibility of over-stepping boundaries with others develops. We work on redeveloping those boundaries.
Control Issues: Some relationships can become suffocating if a partner believes they must be “in control” of the other partner or pieces of the relationship. This control can stem out of the partners own fears or belief that the other can’t make adequate decisions. We work on how to relinquish control, and re-unite as a team working toward a common goal.
Effective parenting: Sometimes children are involved in the relationship and for many reasons a battle ensues on “child rearing” and “correct” ways of doing things. These conflicts can be very destructive. Couples are taught how to lean on each others strengths, and again, work as a team.
Conflict Resolution: Probably one of the best predictors of whether or not a couple is going to stay together is how they resolve their conflicts. Couples are taught flexibility, compromise, sacrifice, and being open to opinion. Sometimes all that we can do is “agree to disagree”
Addictions: Sometimes addictions come in to play in relationships. Be it alcohol, drugs, pornography or others, what happens is one partners addiction becomes a priority in the relationship. This can be catastrophic, and we work towards dealing with these addictions and finding better ways to cope with the stressors of life.
Finanaces: There was an old Billy Joel song that stated…”They started to fight when the money got tight but they just didn’t count on the tears” Money and how it is spent has been a prevailing reasons why couples have separated. We teach budgeting skills and financial priorities in a relationship.
Relationship Priorities: We discuss how important the relationship is, and the time needed for it to persevere in a stressful life. Date nights, quiet time together, short getaways are discussed, with strategies on how to keep the relationship alive and well.
The “Destructive Part” of Social Media. If couples are not careful, today’s social media can become quite destructive. Boundaries must be put in place to avoid these conflicts.
And many…..many…..more. These are just some of the issues that we touch upon (if need be) and there are a host of others that we address that can be tailored to your specific needs.